The last weekend of July, we packed our house with the help of two kind men from our new church in Texas, who flew up to Rapid City and rented u-haul. They were professional movers so they did a great job and they drove the u-haul down to Texas for us. The truck was packed and loaded to the brim on Saturday afternoon and we cleaned the house spotless. We reserved a hotel room for that night so we would have a place to sleep. We all said goodbye to the house, and tearfully drove away.
The next morning, our last morning with our beloved Hills of Grace family, was beautiful and sweet, and one of the hardest days of my life. Justin preached and then had the privilege of baptizing a young girl that we watched grow up alongside watching her parents grow in their walks with the Lord in the last 4 years. He had talked to her about what it meant to be a Christian during one of the men's softball games and she went home and talked to her parents about it. That was a sweet moment of seeing her declaration of faith in Jesus that day.
I tried to memorize every moment of that Sunday. I tried to memorize the faces of everyone who was there. We said some really really hard goodbyes to wonderful, dear friends who were our family there. We laughed about good memories. We reminisced about what God has done. And then everyone left and we bear-hugged Stephen and Angie, excited for how God was going to use them in continuing to lead Hills of Grace, and honored to have gotten to serve with them for as long as we did. What an honor and a joy it is to serve the Lord with people who you genuinely love to be with. And then we got in our van, packed to the top, for our drive to Texas, and drove away.
Words cannot explain the heart-wrenching ache that began the moment we left. It was like a dream, like it wasn't really happening. We cried, we talked about the amazing yet humbling journey we had been on. And we drove.
And we drove.
And we drove all night.
The plan was for the kids to sleep all night. Leah did not sleep. She woke up every 20 minutes and screamed and whoever wasn't driving had to console her and work to get her back to sleep. It was the most miserable night of our life. The sun rose as we reached Dallas-Fort Worth, we had to book-it to beat the morning traffic that was getting heavy on the interstate. About that time, the boys woke up and the roads were bumpy and winding through Dallas and that's when the puke happened. Poor Paul got carsick and threw up all over himself.
Once out of the threat of being stuck in traffic on the south side of Dallas, we pulled over and cleaned everyone up. We arrived at Justin's brother's house about noon, with a van smelling of pee and vomit, and two very tired parents. We took naps and ate and then went back to bed.
The next morning we unloaded the moving truck in the 100% humidity. Yuck! We are renting a house for 2 years and it is just the perfect house for us. It is not modern, but it is spacious, and will allow us ample room for inviting people over… that was the one requirement of the house for us to rent! Ample, open living room, kitchen, and dining for guests to come over.
We are all unpacked now and I'm starting to hang pictures on the walls. In less than a week school starts for Josiah and a week after that Paul starts preschool 3 days a week.
I can't find anything in The Woodlands because everything is so wooded! I have to use my GPS to get everywhere! Justin started work about a week after we arrived. His weekly schedule is full already and he's already busy meeting with people and being a visionary!
The kids spent the majority of the first two weeks here with both sets of grandparents. They have loved spending time with their grandparents. And Justin and I were able to get a lot of things accomplished when they were gone and spend time with each other alone. We've gone on more dates in the last 3 weeks than in all of the last 5 years!
Life for me feels drastically different. It's hard to describe. After we lost our first baby, the grief was so intense with a deep deep ache of sadness that lingered. I have felt the same deep sadness again. Like there was a death in my life, like something huge is missing. My life, everything I did in Rapid City encompassed my immediate family and my church family. Most of it was intertwined. Our church, the people in our lives, our ministry was so important to me, and I invested heavily my time, energy, resources, and love into everyone and everything I did. Not to have that anymore… well, leaves me feeling lost and disconnected. Especially on Sundays. To walk in and know no one makes me want to cry. (And I have, several times in the bathroom before church) To hear a song and remember the first time I heard it when Justin and Stephen sang it together, causes the lump in my throat to form. One day I hope to be able to sing with my voice again in worship and not almost crumple in tears. (Yeah, I've just been mouthing the words on Sundays, if I sing with my voice, tears come instead. I'm not sure why the connection to singing and tears is so closely linked!)
I am looking forward to school starting, I desperately need a way to meet people! I joined MOPS at church and the kids are doing Awana, and I'm going to work hard to connect with others. Having no connection to anyone local is so hard for me, an extrovert!
I think I'm taking the move the hardest. I know it'll get better!
Here are some things I am grateful and thankful for during the last month:
1. Our house sold in 4 hours with a full price offer. And it closed a week after we moved here. That is amazing and only God could have done that.
2. We made it safely to Texas driving non-stop. Never doing that again.
3. A transition in leadership from Justin to Stephen at Hills of Grace that was so biblical and God orchestrated, it just blows me away.
4. Big financial things that God took care… say it's crazy but I'm thankful a hail storm damaged our siding on several places on the front of our house… had it not, we wouldn't have received a sizable check from our insurance company that in turn went to help pay for an unexpected large thing we needed to have done to the house before it was bought. We were out no money. Only God could do that.
5. People who helped us move.
6. Family who watched our kids.
7. Kind, encouraging words from friends.
8. Urgent cares and antibiotics- Josiah and I have both gotten strep throat in the last 2 weeks, and it was brutal. Came on fast and furious and with a vengeance!
9. A new friend here who has reached out to me who's husband is on staff with Justin. She has been so thoughtful and kind. Truly a gift from the Lord.
10. People who have stopped by to welcome us and have brought cookies.
11. The pastor's wife who brought us groceries the day we moved in so I didn't have to go shopping.
12. The opportunity to see my dad randomly during the week when he was close by. I have never had the opportunity to be close enough to my parents to randomly see them any time!
13. That a spot opened up for Paul in the preschool I wanted to get him in.
14. That a spot opened for me in MOPS just last week.
15. Finding a steal of a deal on craigslist for a leather couch, chair and ottoman using exactly the amount of cash we had made from all the things we sold before we moved.
13. That a spot opened up for Paul in the preschool I wanted to get him in.
14. That a spot opened for me in MOPS just last week.
15. Finding a steal of a deal on craigslist for a leather couch, chair and ottoman using exactly the amount of cash we had made from all the things we sold before we moved.
16. Blue Bell Ice cream and Chick-Fil-A (I have overdosed on these things and it is sooooooooooo goooooood!)
I got to sleep between these two in the hotel. I did not sleep much.
"Mommy, let's take a picture!"
And she kisses my cheek just as I press the button. Little girls are so sweet!
Thank you for sharing your open and honest heart. I'm so excited to see where God takes you all.
ReplyDeleteNichole probably understands what you are going through far better than me but let me assure you that it gets better. You'll find great new friends in time (even though they won't replace the wonderful people you miss in SD). God put you in a new place for a reason and will take care of everything you NEED even if it is hard for a time. I know we (and especially Nichole) struggled with all the same things you mentioned when we moved. Chick-Fil-A and Blue Bell Ice Cream definitely help though don't they!
ReplyDeleteIts ok to be sad! Love you!
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