Thirty

To be 30... does that mean I have arrived? I remember my parents being thirty and as a kid that seemed really far off! As I look back it was merely a blink. How have those years gone by so fast? I remember being 20 and in college, sitting in class learning about the endocrine system, fretting about tests and passing, and thinking how slowly time was ticking by. I was sure graduation would never come and I'd be stuck in nursing school forever. And when Josiah was born those first 6 months were so hard. Day and night it was exhausting learning how to be a mother. I remember thinking at 3am while rocking him that the days seems to drag on forever, and would I be sleep deprived for the rest of my life? And if he would just turn 3 months old everything would get better (at least that's what everyone said... but it didn't). Now I look back at the last 10 years and realize just how fast it went. What a whirlwind it has been. I am not the girl I was back then. God has radically changed my life... from marriage, to motherhood, to moving and church planting... God has stretched me more than I thought possible! 

To be 30... does that mean people will start saying I look like I'm in my 20's now? For YEARS people have questioned my age. When I was pregnant with Leah, a man at the grocery store asked me if I was still in high school! Often when I worked at the hospital in Quitman, patients would be uneasy at first with me being their nurse, they were sure I had not graduated high school yet! I still get shocked looks when I tell patients at the clinic that I'm a mom of 3 kids. I don't leave the house without makeup on because of this very reason. Without makeup and wearing just a t-shirt and jeans with my hair in a pony tail, I can pass for a college student. ha! 

To be 30... this means I am becoming wiser, right? 

To be 30... means that over the course of 10 years I started eating more vegetables (If you knew me way back when you'd know I could gag on peas). I like to cook (Also, way back when I was first married I had to call my mother every day to ask her how to cook things... even simple tasks such as boiling a chicken!). I've learned to dig in the dirt and grow food. Canning has overtaken my summers. And I'm a breastfeeding guru, a co-sleeping, baby wearing, minivan driving, lotion making, semi-crunchy mom. Who would have thought? Certainly not me. 

To be 30... I do feel much more confident in who I am and the person God made me, weaknesses and strengths combined. I used to be very self-conscious and extremely concerned about what others thought of me. I was timid and an avid people pleaser. I used to not have any hobbies either. I love the way God has been shaping my heart the last 10 years. I love that I now find my security in Him and I aim more to please Him than others. I'm also much more honest and open with others about my struggles. I used to try to hide behind a mask of having it together, I didn't want anyone to know the ugliness in my heart. But I have found great freedom in being transparent and real. Recently someone told me this in an email..."That first Sunday I was so worn, so bitter, so hurting, so afraid...and your realness and sweetness was like a soothing balm for my soul. Thank you. Thank you for your servants heart and your love of His people and your humble transparency." I was moved to tears by her words. I am realizing it's good and ok to be real and not pretend I have it all together. 

I am thankful to be 30! God has truly blessed me. 

For my birthday I was surprised by a homemade cookie cake from Justin and the kids! It was delicious. I am impressed on a continual basis of Justin's truly amazing skills in the kitchen. He is a culinary genius. I need his skills!

The fire alarm almost went off with the smoke from my 30 candle blaze.

Justin also treated me to a dinner & movie date. Some friends watched our kids and we went to my favorite local italian place downtown. It's the most delicious food I have ever had! Then we walked to a candy shop and bought all sorts of chocolate and pop. We rented a romantic movie (Men in Black 3, HAHA! Seriously, there was nothing at the theater or to rent that wasn't full of filth. MIB was actually clean and funny!), and enjoyed some uninterrupted conversation. That doesn't happen very often! I truly enjoyed my birthday celebrations. I have a sweet, kind, and thoughtful husband!